I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
