thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
