Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
