You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
