I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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