I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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