I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Best friends brother. Beat that.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Come on in and take your pants off
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