i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
