the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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