my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
