the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
And then he peed in my hair
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