I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
