I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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