the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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