If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
