Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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