Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
