Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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