you're like a bully in the Christmas story
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
