Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
You can't motorboat a personality
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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