I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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