he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
It was confusing and full of hummus
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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