He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
