Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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