Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Randomize
