3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
