it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
