In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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