is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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