my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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