the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
