just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
