Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
