he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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