STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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