I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
