I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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