he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
