fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
