My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
