I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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