Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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