We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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