Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
