we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
