bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
