We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
