We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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