No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
