he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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