I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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