i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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